Am I A Hypocrite? “A Taste of My Own Medicine… And I Don’t Like It!”
I’ve written a book about it, calling out others, patting the mat and asking them to step onto it; thinking that I was David hearing defiling words coming out from the mouth of Goliath on that fateful fortieth day of the standoff. Like he I was minding my business doing what my Father had told me to do, go feed my brethren; and I overheard some who I took as uncircumcised Philistines and I said that I would go!
Sure the giant I was sent out to defeat would fall not because of my hands but because I thought I was coming out in the name of the Lord of Host, and now I am wondering if I am a Hypocrite because the same things that I have been calling others to the mat about are the same things that I secretly and oftentimes proudly boast that the Lord would do on behalf of me and my family’s life.
Am I any different? What will I do any differently, say any different, had I had the same opportunity; the world’s ear and the nations stage as a platform to disseminate what thus saith the Lord? When I complete my self-examination after asking God for the wisdom and the understanding of that wisdom; if you know like I know, he will turn the magnifying glass around on to you because he needs no examination, the fault, foolishness or folly always lies somewhere inside; and the objects always appear to be larger than what was originally sought out.
Just when you think that you have it together, is when God shows up to remind us that we fall short of his glory and no one person has all the answers.
I never once offered up the vow of poverty, in fact, I am downright indignant about any child of God accepting anything less than blessings-upon-blessings, so for Pastors and Preachers alike to be blessed in what I deemed excess, and that is what I am currently and have been for quite some time being waiting to be poured out of Heaven’s Window. Have I drunken the Aid – the Hater-Aid?
Lord knows that I don’t want the spirit of covetousness to rise up in me because I have been made to wait.
The question still looms as I write this post… “What would I do any differently?” Sadly at this time, I cannot answer my own question and quite possibly the reason that the blessing tarry.
No one ever likes taking a dose of their own medicine but sometimes it is needed and necessary to become well, and there is nothing more that I desire than to be well in all things concerning the Lord’s will for my life. Gulp! Gulp, Gulp! God can’t heal what we don’t reveal or have the revelation of that which is making us sick.
God show me what it is that YOU would have me to do any differently. Not my will but your will be done, and to your Glory Father. Amen.